that all light is the same
But color is light
So why can’t
What we consider non colored light
What about the clear light on cold day days when the sky is electric blue and the grass stand on end as if by static?
And then there are those late afternoons when the light is dusty, full and golden. Or summer days when the light is yellow like daisies and oh the air smells warm.
What about right before or after it rains and the air smells sharp and sweet and aching and the light is white and the sky is expectant?
The candle light that I read by is a pale yellow and flickery, casting shadows that dance with the light and the flame– which isn’t it all about anyway?
I tried to pour a drop of wax onto my page so it would look romantic but the wax turned into a streak and dropped over the side of the page.
so scary, you know? Suddenly all that …”thatness”
is at your disposal and everything is pushing you
and on the other side of all that are human minds and all the everything comes back twisted and mushed and fast and furious and frightening.
Candle wax is simpler and so I light the candles and climb in bed and return out of the scary world to the comfortable home of melting wax.
My pencil just caught fire and filled the air with a burning plastic smell and I spiral placebo style as the weird smell comes over me.
But I still write because what else is there to do as the smell makes a headache at my temples
and maybe candles are not made for sticking pencils into, but maybe so because fire is like everything in life.
It devours but is beautiful and gives you a headache.
words and photos by ej kirk, two photos by josh